Article taken from the blog of Bhai Manvir Singh:
A mix pot "Sikh" wedding: The modern day Punjabi wedding...
What is nowadays labelled as ‘Sikh’ wedding by Punjabis, in reality are
a mix of Hindu, Islamic, Christian and Punjabi traditions. Most people
unbeknown to them follow these rituals in good faith and enjoy them
thinking they are part and parcel of Sikhi. However, it is usually the
case that these rituals and customs are contrary to Sikhi and therefore
defeat the objective of having an Anand Karaj, which is to
receive the blessings of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Due to a lack of
knowledge and awareness about what a ‘Sikh’ wedding in reality should
be, most people carry on following popular culture.
6 non-Sikh traditions that people think are part of "Sikh" weddings
(1) Rangoli/ Maaeeyaa (Hinduism)
Rangoli is an ancient Hindu form of drawing for special festivities. It
is meant to welcome the Hindu deities into the home for blessings and is
an offering of good luck. Before weddings take place, a Rangoli design
is made on the floor, which consists of repeating patterns of flowers
and geometric shapes made of flour and colour. In this pre-wedding
ritual, the bride or groom sits on a stool before the Rangoli pattern
and has a a turmeric paste applied to them. This Hindu ritual is meant
to make their minds and bodies pure before the marriage ceremony. It is
also used to lighten and beautify the skin.
Note: A Sikh would want to invite Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji to their home, rather than a deity or goddess. There is no such thing as good luck. Good actions lead to lead good results. Reciting and singing Gurbani brings blessings. One is beautified according to Gurmat by singing Vahiguru's Praises and living in accordance to the Guru's Teachings.
Note: A Sikh would want to invite Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji to their home, rather than a deity or goddess. There is no such thing as good luck. Good actions lead to lead good results. Reciting and singing Gurbani brings blessings. One is beautified according to Gurmat by singing Vahiguru's Praises and living in accordance to the Guru's Teachings.
(2) Mehndi Ceremony (Islamic)
Dyeing the hands and feet with henna is something mustahabb (encouraged) for women in Islam, unlike for men. A number of Hadiths
indicate that it is highly encouraged. Abu Dawood (4166) narrates, "A
woman gestured from behind a screen, with a letter to the Prophet
Muhammad in her hand. Prophet Muhammad withdrew his hand and said: “I do
not know whether it is the hand of a man or a woman.” She said: It is a
woman. He said: “If you were a woman, you would have changed your
nails,” meaning, with henna.
It is part of the Muslim tradition (Sunnah) for women to dye their hands
with henna as instructed by Prophet Muhammad to be differentiated from
men.
Note: A Sikh wears that which pleases the Guru, not another religion's respected prophets. The Guru is pleased with a Sikh wearing the Panj Kakkaar.
(3) Sehra (Hindu/Mughal)
A Sehra is decorative veil worn by a groom that originates from Northern India from Vedic times. It consists of an embroidered rectangular piece with strings that make up the veil. The stringed veil can be either made of flowers or beads. The Sehra is tied over the groom’s turban. Alternatively the groom’s turban can have the Sehra stitched into it. First, it covers the face of the groom like a veil and protects him from "Nazar" or the "evil eye." Second, it reminds the groom that the search for a life partner is over and a veil across the face indicates he should not look any other lady. Although it originates from Hindu culture, amongst Muslims the Sehra has been patronised and adopted into Islamic culture since the Mughal era where kings wore elaborate looking head gears encrusted with precious pearls and stones during their weddings. In fact, the word ‘Sehra’ literally means a poem sung during a ‘nikah', Muslim wedding ceremony.
Note: Gurbani does not believe in the 'evil eye' concept', and says reciting Vahiguru's Name rids one any perceived evil eyes or bad luck. Secondly, a Sikh lives by the principal of seeing every other woman as his daughter, sister or mother. Throughout Sikh history Sikh's have been known for their high moral character, and this was without the help or reminder of a Sehra or face veil.
Note: A Sikh wears that which pleases the Guru, not another religion's respected prophets. The Guru is pleased with a Sikh wearing the Panj Kakkaar.
A Sehra is decorative veil worn by a groom that originates from Northern India from Vedic times. It consists of an embroidered rectangular piece with strings that make up the veil. The stringed veil can be either made of flowers or beads. The Sehra is tied over the groom’s turban. Alternatively the groom’s turban can have the Sehra stitched into it. First, it covers the face of the groom like a veil and protects him from "Nazar" or the "evil eye." Second, it reminds the groom that the search for a life partner is over and a veil across the face indicates he should not look any other lady. Although it originates from Hindu culture, amongst Muslims the Sehra has been patronised and adopted into Islamic culture since the Mughal era where kings wore elaborate looking head gears encrusted with precious pearls and stones during their weddings. In fact, the word ‘Sehra’ literally means a poem sung during a ‘nikah', Muslim wedding ceremony.
Note: Gurbani does not believe in the 'evil eye' concept', and says reciting Vahiguru's Name rids one any perceived evil eyes or bad luck. Secondly, a Sikh lives by the principal of seeing every other woman as his daughter, sister or mother. Throughout Sikh history Sikh's have been known for their high moral character, and this was without the help or reminder of a Sehra or face veil.
(4) Jai Mala
(Hindu)
The Var Mala ceremony is known as Jaimala also. The reference of this
ritual is found in Vedic literature. In ancient times (during Vedic
age), the kings used to arrange the system of selection of the groom by
their daughters. They used to invite the son of kings (raaj-kumars) of
the friendly states, a grand ceremony was arranged and the girl (or
bride) was given the opportunity to select the groom of her choice. In
this system, she was free to put the garlands in the neck of her groom
of choice. The same concept is followed in modern times too, but with
the changes that there is only one bride and groom.
Note: A Sikh couple's union in Gurmat is bound by Gurbani and blessings of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji when one bows before the Guru and walks around the Guru to indicate the Guru is the centre of their lives. A Sikh's union is not made with garlands or necklaces, but bound by the Guru.
(5) Ring Ceremony (Christian)
Early Christian marriages had a ritual to wear the wedding ring in the
third finger. As the priest recited during the binding, "In the name of
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit”, he would take the ring and
touch the thumb, the index finger, and the middle finger; then, while
uttering “Amen”, he would place the ring on the ring finger, which
sealed the marriage. Nowadays, it is worn on the fourth finger. The
church considers it as a symbol of love and faithfulness. It stands for
the promise made between a man and a woman that binds them for eternity
in love.
Note: A Sikh wears no symbol of any other religion or belief. A Sikh wears the Panj Kakkaar as their jewellery and symbol of commitment to the Guru.
(6) Throwing of Rice
(Hindu/Christian)
In Hinduism as the bride steps out of her parent’s house to be a part of
her husband’s family, she pauses at the doorstep to throw handful of
coins and rice back over her head thrice. Throwing rice and or money, is
a manifestation of Goddess Lakshmi (the Hindu Goddess of prosperity and
wealth). The bride wishes that her parent’s house always remain
prosperous. Coins signify wealth, whereas rice is a symbol of health.
This ritual also symbolises that the bride has repaid her parents for
her upbringing and for everything they have bestowed on her. In
Christianity, the rice throwing tradition at weddings originates from
Paganism. Throwing of rice in marriage ceremony is the same as throwing
salt over ones shoulder. It's casting a spell for good luck and a
blessing for fertility. In Christianity it was re-interpreted as a
reminder to the couple that the primary purpose in marriage is to create
a family that will serve and honour the Lord. Therefore, guests
symbolically throw rice as a gesture of blessing for the spiritual and
physical fruitfulness of the marriage.
Note: According to Gurmat as one acts, he reaps. To throw rice
as a blessing is not Gurmat. To wish someone well and give blessings in
Sikhi is through reciting Gurbani and doing Simran.
"Go
to the marketplace," he said, "Purchase a bag of feathers". Then on
your way home, drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised
by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
Contrary
to the "normal" way of thinking, Gursikhs (True Sikhs of the Guru),
like it when people gossip and slander them, their looks, their
characteristics etc... That's because energy is energy. It doesn't
matter if it's positive or negative. People who slander you are actually
just giving you energy. When you do not react, you can simply enjoy the
energy itself. This is what Bhagat Kabeer Jee (a muslim Saint) in Siri
Guru Granth Sahib Jee Says: